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Counseling guru for couples hopes to stop divorce problems in China.
Marriage counseling in China generates RMB 1 million yearly. An online buzz was created all over China when Zhu Chen Yong, a 44-year-old marriage counselor, revealed his role in a small office in Shanghai. He manages to garner more than 500 online visitors every time he gets online.
The opening of his office has proved very popular and attracted many people in China due to his ability to help solve marital problems. China is now seeing skyrocketing divorce rates. Data from the Chinese government indicates that divorce rates in 2020 have reached a new high of 8.6 million couples, which is twice the number in 2019 total and is the first time that the divorce rate is higher than the number of marriage registrations.
“As I have always been saying all along, marriage counseling for Chinese is like treating the last stage of cancer, and only a small number of people would consider divorce. They only need advice on whether divorce is right”, said Zhu and further explained that most of his clients come when they are encountering “extreme crisis”, which makes Zhu think every time he is online that “he does it to prevent unnecessary divorce among the people”. He desires to help spouses find a gentle way out as much as possible when considering divorce for the sake of their children.
Dozens of years ago, China has always adopted the “one child” policy, which has resulted in serious imbalances between males and females. The policy resulted in giving birth to 30 million more males than females. In addition, the family pressure to urgently marry, competition at work, the rising cost of living and housing, and taking on the role of mothers are often not encouraging in advancing their careers as they should. These factors have caused the demand to marry and have a family and children for the Chinese people, especially among the younger generation who place greater emphasis on individual freedom.
“If you look at it positively, divorce can be considered as a woman’s declaration of freedom and awakening. Moreover, money and infidelity are among the main causes of divorces”, added Zhu.
Decreasing birth rates and the increase in divorce rates have prompted the Chinese government to take action. Council members, in 2020, introduced a law that would require a 30-day calm-down period before a divorce can be finalized from what would normally be a single day. The proposed law was to prevent divorces that were made on impulse.
Wang Yubai, a marriage lawyer in Guangzhou, came out to dispute the law by saying that “extending the time before a divorce can prove to be more hurtful and it is absolutely unfair to people who suffer from domestic violence and want to get away from unhappy marriages”.
Many provinces in China now have advisors for tens of thousands of married couples, both for newly married couples and a couple who are currently facing troubles. This method solves the problem of divorce for up to two-thirds of those who apply for divorce. In Beijing, there are permanent advisors at every marriage registration office.
In Thailand, there is also the THAC arbitration center that provides alternative dispute resolution services through dispute resolution methods, especially on matters of conciliation for family cases. As many are already aware, a family lawsuit is a rather delicate issue that makes it necessary to use a consultant or a knowledgeable mediator with a reliable and experienced negotiation technique to help stop problems that may arise from conflicts within the family or may lead to separation as effectively as in China. This method of compromise is a method that can lead towards finding a solution together without making any of the parties feeling advantaged or disadvantaged. Both parties can get satisfactory fairness together and can also be done both domestically and internationally. Therefore, there is no need to be afraid when a spouse resides in a different country or is of a different nationality; the dispute can be resolved fairly.
However, although counseling on marriage issues in China has proven to be quite popular, there are also cases where reconciliation cannot be reached. For example, in the case of Wallace, a 36-year-old civil servant who ended his 3-year marriage due to constant interference by his in-laws. In this case, the mediation process came too late to change the result of the divorce filing. After the Shanghai court granted permission for the divorce, a year was delayed due to the coronavirus pandemic. Wallace said, “for people who truly want to get divorced, mediation is just a ritual”. He was one of the younger generations who are increasingly indifferent to marriage and disagrees with the government’s efforts. Many of his friends are obsessed with getting married, which usually end in divorces. So the pressure on women to marry at a young age and urging them to have children has resulted in many Chinese women feeling uncomfortable and reluctant to get caught up in marital problems.
Source: iQNewsAlert : Story (iqnewsclip.com)
‘The counseling guru’, a money-making business intended to solve China’s marital problems. (bangkokbiznews.com)
